Sunset Years, Sunshine Life. (Old Age)

Sunset Years, Sunshine Life. (Old Age)

Agresh Kumar, Ravikant Mundotiya, Abhishek Ujjawal.

OLD AGE HOMES

A debate is going on, are old age homes a necessity? There are two groups, one for and another against. It seems to be a necessary evil. Many elderly people are left to fend for themselves, and having some help with all chores seems to be ideal.

Many elderly people are left to manage on their own. Or the children bring them to old age homes and leave them there, promising to come for them later. They know it is not true, so also the elders. Once in an old age home, there is no leaving.

There are expensive old age homes, they are well managed and the people living there will experience a star hotel ambience. There will be doctors on call, entertainment, and well laid out areas for exercise and walks. Children can visit and I think the elderly too can leave for home stay once in a while. No matter how well appointed or maintained the old age home is, it cannot be like home. And the people staying there will have a feeling of abandonment.

Some children justify that they have no choice. Their life is in some other country. Their parents do not adjust to alien culture and do not wish to leave the shores of their homeland. They cannot be left to fend for themselves, why should they work when everything can be provided for them?  There is a grain of truth in this, but still the elders feel lonely and yearn for their children’s company.

The old age homes that run on donations are not so well maintained. The organizations running them are doing their best. But it is sometimes pathetic to see the people there. They are wizened people, who shuffle around doing as much of their personal chores as possible.  

Those elderly who are abused by children, may feel the old age home is heaven. But later they feel they wish to go back home. Because no place can beat a home, however painful it is. A home means family, and family means belonging. Those who do not have any family, for them old age homes can be a blessing. But those who have family, for them being sent to old age home is like condemning them to death. The life goes out of their eyes. They know they are no longer wanted, their use is over. And this pain hastens their end.

There are day care centers for the elderly. A place where they come and spend the time with their peers and return home in the evening. This is looked forward to by many. It is a chance for them to meet people and share their experiences. Since they get to go home in the night, these centers do not threaten them.

Do you think old age homes are necessary? Are such homes a sign of changing society’s values?  Are the old no longer necessary in the society of youth?  Are they a hindrance and they can be tolerated from a distance only? Is our society becoming so self-centered? 

We have noticed that the first generation and the third generation do not have trouble between them. In fact there is good bonding between these generations. The problem seems to be between the first and second generation.

An elderly gentleman was heard lamenting, that he and his wife had a son and a daughter. But when they were married, they became the property of their respective spouses. They no longer belonged to the parents who gave birth to them. How this man must have suffered.

We feel if we cannot care for our aged parents, then we do not deserve to call ourselves human beings. If we cannot respect and love them when they are old and wrinkled, how can we claim to have a heart?  When they are old, the aged can be a handful. But abandoning them to someone else to care for, is the height of callousness. Can we be ever forgiven for such behavior?

Our old have to be revered and cared for. They are the reason we are here, they are responsible for us, and now that they are old and infirm, they are our responsibility. Roles get switched, they need us now, later we will need our children. Life is a circle, many seem to forget that. Or they are in denial.

Survey Results:

Reason for Old Age Homes

Cause for staying in old age home

Need of old age home 

Is the behavior of family members was same after retirement

References:

1.Islam, Rahman and Islam (2010), Socio-Economic Condition of the Rural Aged in Bangladesh : A Logistic Regression Analysis, Department of Population Science and Human Resource Development, University of Rajshahi-6205, Bangladesh, Indian Journal of Gerontology : 24(2), 225

2. Lee (2010), "Predictors of adjustment to nursing home life of elderly residents:a cross-sectional survey". Nursing Department, Dong-A University, 47(8), 57-64

3. Nasreen (2010), Family in Transition and Challenges for Elderly Person Department of Social Work, Jamia Islamia New Delhi, 24(4), 501-508.