Psychology behind Prostitution

Authors: Jag Pravesh, Kanishka Sharma, Gaurav Jain (IIT Patna) 

Have you ever found yourself getting nowhere in a discussion about prostitution? Ever felt like you lack arguments? You're not alone. Let’s talk about this.

Discussions about prostitution tend to stir up some strong feelings. Many find it a heavy topic, since prostitution affects us all personally – it concerns our own sexuality, our perception of ourselves and our view of others. That's why it's so important to support each other! If we help each other, it's easier to find arguments.

Prostitution is the business or practice of engaging in sexual relations in exchange for payment or some other benefit. Prostitution is sometimes described as commercial sex. Every day and every minute countless women and children suffer in prostitution. Dismissing that with comments of "it's always existed" or "it's the world's oldest profession" is belittling and trivializing their suffering. It's also to take the easy way out and saying that I'm not going to do anything about it. Poverty, sexual abuse in childhood, economic distress and lack of education are primary cause of entry into prostitution.

Men who buy sex: psychological aspect

'I don't get anything out of sex with prostitutes except for a bad feeling," says Ben.

The men didn't fall into obvious stereotypes. They were aged between 18 and 70 years old; they were white, black, Asian, eastern European; most were employed and many were ­educated beyond school level. They were presentable, polite, with average-to-good social skills. Many were husbands and boyfriends; just over half were either married or in a relationship with a woman. they felt ­intense guilt and shame about paying for sex. "I'm not satisfied in my mind" was how one described his feelings after paying for sex. Another told me that he felt "disappointed – what a waste of money", "lonely still" and "guilty about my relationship with my wife". In fact, many of the men were a mass of contradictions. Despite finding their experiences "unfulfilling, empty, terrible", they continued to visit prostitutes.

What Customer expects [Few extreme realities]

"I want my ideal prostitute not to behave like one," he said, "to role-play to be a pretend girlfriend, a casual date, not business-like or mechanical. To a third person it looks like we're in love.

Darren was young, good-looking and bright; Interviewer asked him how often he thought the women he paid enjoyed the sex. "I don't want them to get any pleasure," he told me. "I am paying for it and it is her job to give me pleasure. If she enjoys it I would feel cheated."

Why do women stay in prostitution?

Intimidation, fear, psychological and physical violence. The natural reaction of women taken into sexual exploitation is to protest and fight back. Traffickers respond with sexual, physical and psychological violence which cripples women into believing there is  no way out. Traffickers also use other tactics to demoralise and disempower the women. Their passports are taken away, information is withheld along with food and medicine, and their money is controlled. We now understand that women do everything they can to resist, to escape, yet eventually give up, their spirit wearied and their bodies beaten. Like domestic violence we can only stop trafficking if we stop men's rights to control, use and injure women. Women will not be trafficked if there is not a market to absorb them.

Fight with prostitution:

They say prostitution is a matter of choice, they say it’s not hard to say no, but tell that to the woman who was forced into it by her parents, tell that to the child who was abandoned and needed food to eat, tell that to the young girl that nobody loved and they’d ask you where did the matter of choice really come in? People should turn away from the blind notion that there are two types of prostitution, voluntary and involuntary.

Despite chauvinistic belief spurred by male ignorance, women do not want to be treated like objects, they do not wanted to be sold, used, controlled or degraded. What human being doesn’t want love, respect and dignity? Is it really possible to divorce oneself from their body and to feel nothing at all? The choice here is between running into a brick wall or equally hard place.

Yes, woman have a right to do what they want with their bodies, we live in a generation where male domination is almost diminished, so why would a woman want the privilege of being in control of their physical self, just to throw it away in the name of money?

There are woman within societies who convince themselves that prostitution is a matter of choice. They believe that they have made the decision to sell their bodies, maybe so they feel themselves to be in control of some aspect of their lives. It is their decision how to go about their lives, and we are no one to call them criminals. Legalizing prostitution might be something men might be overjoyed about, but for women, it is about being treated with respect, being given the benefits of a working class girl and not cast in the same category as a felon.

Prostitution is too ugly a world for a beautiful woman to want to be in, it is a daily series of force, beating, threats and abuse. No 14 year old girl decides to be a prostitute of her own will, they see no other option. She won’t walk on the roads and lay down a price for herself, she is coerced by others. She is promised security, stability, attention and maybe even love. She is a victim not a criminal.

Stop convincing yourself that prostitution is a choice. Prostitution for some is inevitable, Ignorance is a CHOICE.